It’s me from the future with words of advice that you will or will not take into consideration and possibly live by.
Right now, your life may seem a little confusing and it bit filled with demons of life from family, peers and society. I just want you to know that it all will be better soon. Nothing will ever seem like a perfect utopia — ever. It’s just the fact of life. You may think that you are invincible now but it that will soon go away.
As you deal with the battle to be the demons from inside your own heart, I want you to know that you will also be forced to continue to deal with demons within your own home with your family.
Take each day step by step as you deal with a father that seems to tell you are not good enough. Through his words and his actions he may break you down but realize that the hurt that he caused you will help build you up from this awkward clumsy boy into a great young man that will conquer things. Being able to handle the verbal and physical abuse will later prove that the world outside in the real world will be the biggest fight that you will be prepared for.
Though this fighting for perfection will always show that you have a mother that stands tall and strong. No matter the decisions that you make that she will find a way to accept you and never let you go. She will be your emotional rock that will help you, you just have to not be afraid of asking for help.
By now you should know that even though you are in that awkward stage of life… you are still quite a social butterfly. It will help you later on down the line and yes, you like to dream of entertaining and you will soon grace the stage and show the world you happiness. You will rock it! No doubt.
Now these people in high school that you are so anxious to impress and hang-out with, let that go. Go and be you! It’s an amazing feeling. You are an athlete and be a state championship worthy competitor which will even shock yourself, even in college. A lot of those people are in your life for a reason but will fall off your plate until social media & networking kicks into high gear. Right now you are just on AOL and Yahoo! chat. Social media will be way better.
As you go through life, you will find a time in all this madness where you will fall into a dark hole that not even your family know that you are in when you are battling the biggest demon of being happy and figuring it out what’s going on in your mind, body and soul. Let me make it easy for you — YOU’RE GAY! That’s the end of the story! You love men, hunny! And it’s okay. You really shouldn’t try to think about killing yourself anymore and think of how you are going to be the most sexiest man out there.
Being gay is amazing but don’t fall for all the stereotypes that are on television. You can be your own kind of color to the Rainbow. And remember, how I said that you would be entertaining, you’re an entertainer! Yes you bitch! You will meet some amazing people through the art of entertainment.
Some advice for the fourteen year old me:
- It’s okay to be different. It makes for better conversation. Being the same makes you boring, even to yourself.
- Life is as great as you make it. Make every day a chance to live a positive experience and share your positive energy.
- Suicide or thinking of it is not a good idea. It’s dumb. Just think of all of the people that will miss you.
- Family ties are strong. Keep pulling on the strings to make sure to keep in contact with them.
- You can’t trust everyone, but that doesn’t not mean that you start a relationship (friendship, courtship, etc.) with distrust.
- Your heart will be broken but you have to be one to put it back together.
- Learn to be responsible for yourself and be prepared for any consequences that you may encounter.
- Be responsible and vote at every election, even the small city elections.
- Be you, be strong and rock your fabulousity!
From the future! xo