Good morning Loveys.

I write this entry from my bed with full beard and feeling just relaxed and blessed.

This week was the first time that I officially cancelled events and such. I cancelled being in the Stars of Tomorrow show hosted by Kendra St. James at BS West, the Turn About show for GLSEN, and some other personal meetings.

I love being your Miss Gay Supernova USofA Newcomer, I love being able to entertain people and interact with them and want to continue to grow and learn. The one thing that I forgot about is my husband, my home, and most importantly… I forgot about myself.

I have been on the go since beginning fundraising for the national title of Miss Gay USofA Newcomer in Florida. I placed 20/21 during this pageant and believed that I could have done so much better. It was a great experience and I keep looking back on ways that I can get better, perform better, entertain better. BUT! I didn’t take the time off to reflect on myself personally. I didn’t take a moment to enjoy the small moments with my husband.

Essentially, my husband in his stubborn ways of telling me things, kept telling me that I was not stopping to take time for us, for him and again, myself. I was also battling it out with myself to make time for me.

So the time came and I needed to press the brakes and cancel all these things to find out where Patrick (the biological me) was and how he was doing. Go back to maintaining my relationship with my husband and reflect on how awesome our relationship together has been, despite the ups and downs, the haters, the talkers. If I stopped for a moment doing my web and graphic design business, stop being the performer that I’ve worked hard to be, stopped maintaining the relationship that we both work hard to be with each other and fight through so much and the kids we have. Then… then I would be alone with no one.

I had a couple of friends that said they never see me, they never heard from me because I didn’t consider them. I did not want to be that person or battle myself any more.

After sometime off, I am ready to get back to being me and being the best entertainer that I can be while representing the Miss Gay Supernova USofA Newcomer 2011 title.  I hope that you will see the change. I hope that it reflects on the community, my family and friends.

Thank you so much for all of your love and support. I have truly appreciated the emails, texts and phone calls as I took a hiatus to figure out things.

Have a blessed and wonderful Supernova Sunday.

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