THE TRUTH OF IT ALL IS… More than once during my childhood someone told me over and over I wasn’t good enough, constantly making me feel less than. I heard it so much that I believed and nothing could change it. I have had a hard time, even today, believing in myself and have been my worst enemy because of anxiety led on by fear.
I have learned deal with it but every once in a while I fall victim to the fear, again. It consumes my life, my day-to-day and even waking me up with fear lurking beside breathing heavy.
FEAR of not being good enough. FEAR of losing it all. FEAR of losing the people around me. FEAR of what comes next. FEAR of what people might say or react. It makes me not want to do anything or I sit and overthink it for so long the opportunity passes me by.
Just like this Q&A, I have sat on it since January. Every time I would get started on it I would start overthinking it and eventually just close it and move on to something else. Today, I edited a small snippet. It’s a day I feel like moving forward, sharing with you.
You might think “get over it,” but it’s not as easy as it sounds. And so much harder to fight the battle from the inside out — sometimes just wanting to jump out of my own skin. I am working on making progress every day and stopped trying to be perfect.